I realized how shy I really can be today. I helped work the involvement fair on campus for J at CBU. The involvement fair is basically this fair on campus where programs on and off campus set up tables in our gyms and give information about their programs to the new freshmen. J at CBU is basically our Journalism program, which is composed of our newspaper, magazine, yearbook, and public relations.
You'd think that because Journalism is heavily based on communications and writing, I'd have no problem. I mean I feel rather confident in my writing abilities and consider myself a decent writer. But when it comes to having to talk to people, especially to people I do not know, I often myself at a loss for words. I wish I could turn it on or off, but I some times find this rather difficult. Usually when I know a lot about the topic I need to discuss I'm set more at ease, but I think it's more about initiating a conversation.
Like how do you get that person to be really hooked on what you have to say? How can you know? Especially when everyone is different. I have a few key hooks I like to use, "What are you interested in?", "What's your major?", or "Read any good books lately?" But then again that can only take you so far, and if I can't keep the conversation going I tend to feel rather awkward. Sometime I can deal with awkwardness. I mean I have a shirt that reads "This is awkward, but I like it!" And I mean I do, in small doses.
It's a lot easier to ignore the fear of talking when I have pressure. Not the bad kind of pressure, more the good kind. Where I think of the positives. And some days I just find myself outgoing. It doesn't happen so often, but those days are my favorite. It makes things so much easier.
I think what I need to focus on is just not caring what happens. If I don't care about the outcome it may be easier. Even if I find disappointments, it's better that I've asked than not knowing at all.
Yeah, that's probably what I need to do.
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