Patience is a virtue

I realized I needed to put up the last blog of the month. So here I am. Today I took two exams, I think I did decently. On the Philosophy exam at least. haha.

My mind has been wandering a lot this evening. Which is a major bummer because I'm trying to catch up on my History of England to 1688 reading so I can write a paper that is due this coming Tuesday.

I've just been thinking a lot about everything. I hate when I'm reading, writing or just plain listening and my ears are listening, but my brain checks out. I really need to learn how to pay more attention and stop worrying about everything. I have a God who has a plan for my life, and in no way can I change His plan. I may think I'm making those decision according to my own free will, but nope, God is using those for His will.

Sometimes I wish I could just pick God's brain about the things that happen in my life and others'. Like what were You thinking when You allowed this to happen. Why did You decide for me to make that decision. Although, at the same time I do not want to know, I just want to be obedient and accept the things that happen.

I find myself most struggling with impatience. I have a really hard time being patient, I want everything to happen now. But again, God is in control of that as well, and I know He has my best interests at heart. I pray that the Lord helps me achieve greater patience because I cannot do this alone.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

I hope you all enjoyed Blog Every Day September, good day. :]

Focus Achieved

I got this random burst of focus today. I got home and got straight to work on studying for the Philosophy and American Government exams I have tomorrow. I thought it was rather peculiar, but I'm actually really excited about it. I hope that this continues, I have two papers due next week and it would be nice to continue having this focus and determination to get things done.

I mean part of me didn't even want to blog right now because I didn't want to lose it. But I'm thinking that's not going to happen considering how quickly I am typing this out.My fingers are literally going to fast for my mind and I keep having to go back and rewrite words because they're spelled incorrectly, and we cannot have that on here.

I think it also helped for me to ignore my computer and phone unless absolutely necessary. My phone is currently plugged into the wall so there isn't easy access to it. And my lap top was on my desk, but I needed to access a power point for some answers to government questions. But I think as soon as I finish this blog it may go back. I'm not positive though because I want to continue listening to music.

My phone was providing earlier, but it died. But at the same time I want to shut it off so I can focus and also so I can save my Spotify hours. I feel like I'm going to get cut off soon, and then I'll only have the music I bothered to pay for. haha.

Also, I just realized tomorrow is the last day of Blog Every Day September. I'm kind of relieved. Only because I've kind of run out of topics to talk about, and I'm sure those of you who actually read this are sick of me complaining about everything. Woo. haha.

Whistle while you, nah

I've felt really busy lately, but I feel like I haven't done anything. At least it seems like nothing to me. I know that I've done a lot, but I don't think it's registering in my mind as work. I feel like things are kind of a mess right now. There's a lot I need to do within the next week. I feel like there is so much going on that I don't have enough time to finish it all.

Let's take a look at my forever growing To Do List for the next week or so, shall we?

-Study for Intro to Philosophy exam
-Study for American Government exam
-Catch up on reading for History of England to 1688
-Do reading for Communication Theory
-Take quiz for Communication Theory
-Write blurb for Technological Dependence spread
-Keep up to date with Facebook and Twitter for Internship
-Make sure web is running properly for paper.
-Meet with potential new additions for the web team
-Video Meeting
-Web Meeting
-Write paper for American Government
-Write paper for History of England to 1688
-Clean room
-Clean bathroom
-Wash/clean car
-Breakfast with Lauren (Saturday)

This is all I can come up with off the top of my head, but I'm almost positive there's more. I think I'm starting to feel the stress. Welcome back to school Sharayah. Buck up, be a woman, and do work.

-O-O- <---glasses

I didn't go to school today because of my eye appointment. (Yup, I'm going to have some snazzy glasses soon, maybe I'll wear them more). Usually I get really upset about missing school, but I think it was good for me. I've been a tad stressed lately about school and it was cool to not have to worry about getting to class and having my reading done. I even took a nap, which will probably not serve me well when I try to go to sleep later tonight. However, I enjoyed it at the time, so it's all good. haha.

I was really happy about my appointment, even though I originally was a little upset about not having enough contacts to reach to the appointment. Especially the end of last week when my right eye was not having the contacts. I figured this was because the lenses were getting older and I'm suppose to change them every month. When the optometrist tested my eyes today, she said I had an irritation in my right eye and that I was not allowed to wear the trial lenses she gave me until next Monday.

This unfortunately means I have to wear my lame prescription I currently have, until then. BUT, I will have new contacts AND glasses within the next two weeks or less, which is really exciting. I'm so over my current pair mostly because I'm rather blind. But I think the ones I picked out were really nice, although I cannot be trusted because I picked them half blindly. I'm sure the people there thought I was considering I was inches away from the mirror each time I tried a new pair. It was embarrassing, but I bet all of them were used to it. I cannot be the only one with eyes so bad. haha.

Almost there!

I've been getting really excited about reading my Bible. Seeing as soon this will be the first time I've ever gotten all the way through. I finished the Old Testament a couple days ago. And I've been really enjoying it. You know finding out things I wasn't aware of and getting more in-depth on all those stories I thought I knew pretty well from Sunday school.

I'm glad I'm finally doing this. I should've done it awhile ago, but I feel like this is the right time. This was God's plan for me, and I just fall more and more in love with my creator every day. It's really given me a whole new perspective on what I believe and it's refreshing.

I really stoked to finish it, and then go back and study it even more in-depth. Right now I'm doing a bit of just a read through, but I excited to learn more and just continue shaping my faith. It's just too cool.

Our God truly is an awesome God. :]

Ugh... reading

I don't know what it is with all this reading. I guess because I've mostly taken journalism courses and I don't feel that they are very heavy with reading. It's more hands on and experiences. And the fact that I took all general education courses except one gives me so much reading. I'm trying to balance it with everything else, but it's proving difficult.

I did get some reading done though. There was lots of productivity on History of England to 1688. It wasn't much, but it's more than normal. I did get my assignments for Ethics done though, so I count that as productivity as well. I do still have to study for American Government and Philosophy, but the test isn't until Friday, so I have time!

And I've kind of been doing the whole judging what I need to read by what's going on, rather than just reading it all. #horriblestudent

Well, back to reading for England.

Wait For Me

Thursday night I went to a SHE event at my church with my mother. It was a very uplifting, inspiring and reassuring night. Rebecca St. James, Evie Karlsson and For KING and Country performed and shared about purity and being a faithful woman of God.

I myself have already vowed my purity to God and my future husband. And I really liked the message they gave because I feel like being a virgin this day in age is not something to be ashamed. It's more to be praised. And I believe your virginity is such a precious gift for your future spouse.

I liked the reassurance that my future husband is out there. I really enjoyed Rebecca St. James' song 'Wait For Me'. It was a beautiful song I now hold to dear. She wrote the song for her future husband who is now "her Jacob", she was married 5 months ago, and shared with us how worth it, it is to wait until marriage.

I also enjoyed hearing from For KING and Country, as they shared from a male perspective of how a man should treat a lady. And how we should wait for our "Holy Hunk". It was so touching to hear from a man that we should be treated like princesses and we shouldn't be in unhealthy relationships in which we are treated anything less. There is a man out there for all of us and he doesn't deserve us unless he cherishes us.

Now as a college student I do my best to keep focused on my studies and not obsess over boys like I did in high school. Which has worked for me so far, Praise the Lord. Now this doesn't mean that I completely ignore boys, rather I look to make sure my priorities in check. God comes first, family, studies, friends and then after needs to be looked over, but isn't necessarily as important as the formers.

However, if my future husband is reading this now or some day soon, know I pray you and I will find one another when God permits it. He has a plan for us and I cannot wait to see it unfold with you. I pray you keep Him at the forefront of your life and that you are waiting for me as I am waiting for you. Until that beautiful day. <3

Ouch

I cannot wait to go to the eye doctor on Tuesday. My right eye has been bothering me since yesterday. I believe this is due to over wearing my contacts. But I'm really excited to get new glasses because my current pair is absolutely off.

I've been having a hard time focusing lately. I just can't get in a groove. I want to be doing stuff for school. But it's mostly been reading, and I find it difficult to get into a textbook without falling asleep. I'm all about novels. haha.

I felt weird at school today. I feel like it might have been because I was talking to a few friends about things they were dealing with. And it always bums me out when my friends aren't happy. Especially since it's something I can't exactly help with aside from listening and giving my best judgement. :/

I've been home alone. Most of the night, and I felt kind of lonely and scared. But I was listening to some up beat music that Spotify was unfortunately blasting on my Facebook feed to everyone, which I don't really know how I feel about yet. Oh Facebook, you and your stalker-like changes.

Ohh! Mum and Dad are home! Adieu. :]

Dang I missed it...

I'm not even sure if this blog is up in time. I'm so sorry I didn't post yesterday. We had work night and I didn't get home until right before midnight and when I realized it was too late, so I just decided to forget about it. I hope you all don't hate me because I failed.

It happens though. And all I can do is press forward, so for the remainder of this month I will try to give you all more quality blogs.

Starting tomorrow because I really need to get some sleep. Hopefully no sleep talking...

1, 2, 3, 4 ...

I exercised today. And when I say exercise I pretty much was walking in place for 30 minutes while reading my American Government book.

However, toward the end, I kind of got distracted. I put on some music. I've been really into Owl City the last couple of days. Then I grabbed my scarf off my chair and might have danced around. I think I liked the latter half better. It was just a lot of fun.

I'm planning to hopefully keep this up every day for I don't know how long. But, I feel like it's a step in the right direction, because I can study and exercise. Since I've been pretty much just studying. And that hurts my brain, which is no bueno.

I got my car back today, which is exciting because I don't have to be driven around anymore like I was in high school. Which is beautiful. Tomorrow night is production night, and I'm really looking forward to it because I can stay because I have a car! Yay me!

Other than that, I thought today went splendidly. :]

Just for a second

I keep learning that my bed is the worst place to do homework because of its warmth and comfort, I tend to fall asleep. And then I don't get to be exactly where I want to be homework-wise by the end of the night. I think I'm okay where I'm at right now. I at least finished half of my readings and took my Com Theory Quiz. I got 4.5/ 5 I hate that I missed one. haha. But hey, it happens.

I have some reading for History of England next. It's a lot of reading because I didn't have time to read last week. My birthday kind of got in the way and I didn't really do any reading because I got distracted. And I didn't do anything over the weekend except read for Philosophy. Which put me ahead because I don't have to do any reading till this coming weekend for it.

I do however, need to read for American Government and Ethics as well. What I'm finding curious is that all of my Philosophy, Com Theory and Ethics readings are starting to overlap, they seem to be connected in the ways of Philosophy. Which helps me out because it will become drilled in my mind, yay!

I took on a lot of reading heavy classes this semester. That was something I didn't take into consideration. Although, I am quite grateful there hasn't been too much work aside from reading. I've been assigned a paper for Government and a case study for Ethics. Which is no big deal. I got this. :]

That darn car

When I was younger I always dreamt of having a lime green Volkswagon Beetle. I thought that was the cutest car ever and I wanted it. My junior year of high school I obtained a driver's license and for Christmas I got that exact car.

Goober, I called it. And a goober it really is. I've had a plethora of problems with it over the four years I've owned it. I feel like every couple of months there's something else going wrong with it. About two weeks ago we had problems and paid to have it fixed. But yesterday, something happened to it again. I don't know exactly what, but dad says I cannot drive it.

This is really frustrating seeing as I'm a commuter student. I'll unfortunately be having my mother drive me to and from school until it gets fixed because I cannot borrow her rental doesn't have me on the contract. Her car is in the shop as well.

It's been on my mind lately that I should just get a new used car, because I feel like we keep having to pay more and more to have it fixed. But then I fear that I won't be able to do all the cool things I was planning to do this year. Like go to England. :/

I don't really know what to do about it, we'll see after tomorrow, maybe. Hopefully, my car will be seen tomorrow. #lesigh

Stuff needs to get done

So I'm finding that getting a passport is a lot harder than I thought. Every time I think I'm getting closer to putting the paperwork in, something else happens. I finally have all the paperwork I need, but apparently they don't take people unless they have an appointment on Saturdays. Lame.

I really didn't get a whole lot of work done today. I had planned to get all my reading done, but I haven't touched a single book. I did however, write a To Do List. Nothing has been crossed off though, unfortunately. I have to keep focused though. Everything needs to get done. There is so much going on that needs my attention, and I don't want to get overwhelmed.

I've been hanging with my brother today. I find it weird, but it seems that my brother and I get along a lot better when my parents are gone. I have no idea why. I wish we did, but eh, it happens I suppose.

Also, Natalie is here tonight. I love when Natalie comes over, we always have such fun!

OH! And Pride and Prejudice was SOOOOO GOOD! It's playing at South Coast Repertory! GO SEE IT! I recommend! HIGHLY!!! :D

Just SO excited!

I have to blog REALLY early today because I know that I won't be able to later because I'm sure I'll be home after midnight because I'm going to see PRIDE AND PREJUDICE with Peter! So excited. And it will probably be short too because the red velvet birthday cake is in our fridge and it keeps speaking to me. "Eat me Sharayah, happy birthday to you!" haha. XD

I was suppose to go turn in passport paperwork, but unfortunately the passport office is ALREADY closed. Which I don't understand seeing as the post office doesn't close until 5 p.m. Lame, but it's okay because it's open tomorrow too. Thankfully. I need to get that working so I can look into booking a flight to.... ENGLAND! I'm probably going over spring break. I'm crossing my fingers at least. Each step forward is making more and more excited.

I'm also going to Orlando, FL at the end of next month for a journalism conference. Unfortunately, it's during midterms so I'm going have to keep on task and study really hard the next month and a half so I can excel in the time I will miss. I'm really excited though because we are MOST DEFINITELY going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and I get to see my friends Ryan and Lizzie. Which, Ryan is actually attending the conference as well, so I'm just one ball of excitedness. This year is going really well.

I'm pretty sure I aced my philosophy quiz too. yay! :]

I AM 20

Today is my birthday woo! But you knew that because I blogged about it yesterday. That is unless you didn't read my blog yesterday. haha. Regardless, today is my birthday.

I find it funny having a Facebook on birthdays, because I have gone and changed a few of my friend's birthdays on their profiles before. And the thing about Facebook is it tells you when it's someone's birthday. And most of the people who wish you a happy birthday only knew because Facebook told them.

What's even worse, is if someone hacks your profile and one of your close friends wishes you a happy birthday. It's like hey you should know that.

But I promise. Today is my birthday. So feel free to show me some love. haha. :]

I'm an adult

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be turning 20. The big 2-0. My parents keep telling me I'm an old lady now.

It's weird because I don't feel old, but at the same time I do. I've lived through two decades. I remember pogs, pokemon cards, volunteering to be the yellow power ranger because all the girls always wanted to be the pink, not having a cell phone when I was five, not knowing curse words existed until middle school, being free and not having a care in the world.

But now I have things to worry about like getting myself up in the morning, finding something acceptable in the fridge for breakfast and lunch, going to school, doing my homework without my mother telling me to, working and getting paid so I can put gas in my car, etc.

There's not much that happens when you turn twenty. 19 and 20 are like those awkward ages between the cool 18 and 21 birthdays. Because everyone knows that 18 and 21 are the best birthdays, right? You get so much responsibility.

But I see tomorrow as not having teen at the end of my age. I will be twen-ty. That means I'm an adult, right?

It's the little things

I purchased a lamp at Target yesterday because the ceiling fan in my room doesn't provide enough light and it makes it harder to see anything other than my Macbook when it gets later in the night.

I'm rather careful with how I spend my money seeing as I'm a commuting college student. I like to keep everything in check and every so often I won't do things that will cost me. Gas is expensive guys. haha.

When I do spend my money it's usually on the essentials, in yesterday's case a lamp. Now I didn't need the lamp per say, but my desk is now lit up. And I find my desk more comforting to sit and study at than laying across my comfortable, warm bed curled up with a textbook. Considering I usually pass out within five minutes of my head hitting the books.

Now these purchases of the essentials make me feel more of an adult. You know, not having to rely so much on my parents, rather I'm fending for myself. At least as much as I can considering I live in my parents house and they don't charge me rent. Praise the Lord.

I think what I'm trying to get at is it's the little things that make me happy. haha. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Are these blogs getting lamer as the days are going?

It's not 11 p.m.

Peter just told me I have to blog before 11 p.m. tonight. I'M HERE! haha.

I feel like I was all over the place today. I woke up late, which I've been doing the last couple of days. My ideal time I want to be able to consistently wake up this year is 6:30 a.m. Considering I don't have class until 10 a.m. on MWF and 11 a.m. on TR, you probably think I'm nuts. But I'm not. Ideally, I would like to wake up at 6:30 a.m., have my quiet time, do some exercising, eat breakfast, get ready for school and be out of the house by the necessary time.

I'm doing my best to get to this, but I've been having a bit of difficulty getting there. I'm a night owl and I feel best later in the night, but that results in not being a morning person and wanting to catch up on said sleep I missed the night before. I mean I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. every night for the next morning. However, snooze usually gets pushed until 7:30/8 a.m.

Kudos for trying? Okay maybe not. I agree, I'm lame. I tried putting my phone across the room, but that just results in me stumbling around to turn it off and retreat back to bed. I definitely need to go to bed earlier, I feel like that should help. I thought I had started it last week and was going to succeed, but then I went to bed late one night and messed it up.

So going back to me waking up late, I missed a breakfast date with The Banner staff, which Neil is not going to let me forget because he's mean. haha. Went to Philosophy, ate lunch and did some American Government homework during my break, went to Ethics, sat in on Banner but did American Government homework, went to American Government, bought a lamp at Target, made a video for BacheloretteBrigade, put clothes away, ate dinner with the family, attempted Communication Theory reading, fell asleep, attempted ComTheory reading again, and was then forced to write a blog.

I think it's great that I can recall of that. I have such a good memory. haha. My lamp is providing good light. I wish it was a little brighter, but it's better than the nothingness that my ceiling fan provides. Aside from all of this I've been in a really good mood. The smile on my face has yet to disappear. :D

Blog time, not on time

It's kind of lame when you inform your classmates early in the day via introduction that you're blogging every day this month, and then forget until 11 p.m. that night you forgot to blog. Nice going, Sharayah. I think the fact of it not being tomorrow yet, makes this okay. I'm trying to decide whether I should start my day off by blogging, but I already have a lot to then.

I was just doing some Philosophy and American Government homework and listening to the instrumental Tangled soundtrack. Well, I don't know if I would call it homework. It was more I decided I was going to read the introduction and first chapter before class this week since we are suppose to have it read anyway. I don't consider reading homework. It's more necessary for me to learn, I've also been taking notes. These notes being key terms, but notes nonetheless.

I'm striving to have immaculate notes this semester. I want to be extremely organized and prepared, I like schedules. I feel like if I'm organized and prepared I'll do better. My friend, Peter, told me recently my life needs an itinerary. I'm not going to lie to you, I agree. I need to know what I'll be doing when. And that's why I give you my Google Calendar/iCal/ Agenda. As I am equipping myself with these this semester.

I have almost everything down to a T. Which I'm liking. I just need to stick to it, aside from going to class. Class is required, everything is optional. And that needs to change. I can't keep procrastinating until the last minute. I have a lot of coursework heavy classes this semester, and it needs to get done NOW!

[Returns to tackling her American Government reading]

O-O

I've resorted to wearing my glasses on the weekends because my contacts are starting to get to the point where they need to be changed, but I don't have any more and I don't go to the optometrist for another two weeks?

That's REALLY bad. Unfortunately, last month I lost one of my contacts while driving and couldn't find it when I pulled over. Since it was like a week or so before I needed to change my contacts and I only had one pair left, there wasn't a lot I could do. So I had to use my last pair early, and we couldn't get an appointment scheduled right away is sucks because my glasses are extremely out of date because I've been just buying contacts and haven't gotten a new pair in a really long time.

So right now, I'm wearing my glasses, as I have been all day. And I just have to say my vision is already horrible as it is, these glasses aren't really helping. Which stinks, but I kind of have to make do. At least I don't have class on the weekends. That helps a lot. But I feel really blind.

Luckily, I didn't have any plans this weekend. I've also been taking my contacts out as soon as I get home from school during the week. I cannot wait to go to the optometrist. I decided I'm going to only buy half the amount of contacts I normally do and get a new pair of glasses. I'm sure this will make me wear them more, considering the ones I have now fall off my face when I look down.

Just two weeks, two weeks.

No breaks, no mistakes

It can't be Friday night already. I'm really hoping the rest of the year doesn't go by like this. I mean I want to busy, but not this busy. I want to have time to do the things I want to do as well as do the whole school thing. But I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to handle being this busy.

I feel like I did so little today, class at 10, chapel at 11, newspaper stuff from noon to 5 (did I really spend that many hours working on the newspaper? That's just insane), ate dinner 5:30, Nutella cookies from 6:30 to 730, and Big Bang Theory from then till now still.

I don't think that's too much. The newspaper stuff I was working on definitely went quite long. I just couldn't figure out the video editing for the longest time. And in the end I did it another way, but it came out a lot better than I expected.

I don't think I should be complaining. Last week I was complaining about having nothing to do. I cannot now complain because I have all the things in the world to do. That's just not fair. I have to stick it through. I know I can do this, I have my to do lists ready. I've been checking things off one and at time, and even though it's late still getting most of what needs to get done, done. And I find that a great accomplishment.

What do you mean tomorrow is Friday?

I feel like my classes went by rather fast today, actually the whole day went by fast. I only have two classes on Tuesday/ Thursday and I think they might be my favorites. I have History of England to 1688 and Communication Theory. I say this because one, I love England, and two I really need to work on my communications skills.

I realized once again why being a commuter sometimes stinks. If one of your middle classes gets cancelled or shorten, you can be stuck with no where to go. Luckily, I consider the Newsroom and the Lab my second homes, so I wound up just chilling in there with some friends. I still think the cost of living on campus vs. at home is what makes me realize a half hour to hour wait isn't that big of a deal.

My friend Kira and I went to go visit Women's Choir this afternoon. They're doing very well. It was a little weird because they are definitely not the same choir they were a few months back. There's a lot of people missing as well as a lot of new people. We only sat on about three songs, only one being a song we sang last year, but I was impressed with the progress they've made already. It made me kind of wish I was still involved. Like I could be a part of that gorgeous sound. But I also realize there's a reason as to why I'm no longer involved. I don't have the time to dedicate nor the units. But it did bring back a lot of great memories.

The first edition of the Banner comes out tomorrow. I've already placed a few articles online. I have a really good feeling about this year in newspaper. I think it's going to be a very productive, challenging, and all around fun year. And tomorrow is just the beginning.

Also, two of my classes are already cancelled. So I'll have to wait around a little bit. But eh, it's not too bad. No worries.

That first day

Back in school! Yay for schedules! I feel like a real nerd loving school so much, but I just cannot help it. There's just so much here that I love. My friends, my classes, my work, and my passions. I cannot wait for the school year to really kick off though. Now we're just doing the whole run down on the syllabus, aside from newspaper type stuff. But I like it so far.

It's only the first day so I haven't even seen all my classes yet. I'M A JUNIOR NOW! That's so crazy, but so cool. I've been blessed to have someone I know in each of my classes so far, which makes it comforting, especially if I have to miss. Which I really hope I don't. When I got sick in February it took everything in me not to go to class. It was strictly doctor's orders that kept me home.

Although, I am really excited about my professors. I can tell already that my philosophy professor is going to be great. He's a riot and it seems like philosophy is going to be very intriguing and thought provoking. I'm not so sure I will like American Government, but the professor seems to be wanting to make it be fun. And I of course know Ethics in PR & Journalism is going to be a breeze because the professor is great and I've had her before.

I bought two textbooks today and I kind of want to cry because of how costly they are. Why am I being punished for pursuing higher education?! haha. Regardless, I'm looking for the cheapest and best conditions. And sometimes that comes at a high price. Oh well, it can't be too much more. I only have three more classes to buy for, at least I hope.

I.. Uhh.. Err.. Okay..

I realized how shy I really can be today. I helped work the involvement fair on campus for J at CBU. The involvement fair is basically this fair on campus where programs on and off campus set up tables in our gyms and give information about their programs to the new freshmen. J at CBU is basically our Journalism program, which is composed of our newspaper, magazine, yearbook, and public relations.

You'd think that because Journalism is heavily based on communications and writing, I'd have no problem. I mean I feel rather confident in my writing abilities and consider myself a decent writer. But when it comes to having to talk to people, especially to people I do not know, I often myself at a loss for words. I wish I could turn it on or off, but I some times find this rather difficult. Usually when I know a lot about the topic I need to discuss I'm set more at ease, but I think it's more about initiating a conversation.

Like how do you get that person to be really hooked on what you have to say? How can you know? Especially when everyone is different. I have a few key hooks I like to use, "What are you interested in?", "What's your major?", or "Read any good books lately?" But then again that can only take you so far, and if I can't keep the conversation going I tend to feel rather awkward. Sometime I can deal with awkwardness. I mean I have a shirt that reads "This is awkward, but I like it!" And I mean I do, in small doses.

It's a lot easier to ignore the fear of talking when I have pressure. Not the bad kind of pressure, more the good kind. Where I think of the positives. And some days I just find myself outgoing. It doesn't happen so often, but those days are my favorite. It makes things so much easier.

I think what I need to focus on is just not caring what happens. If I don't care about the outcome it may be easier. Even if I find disappointments, it's better that I've asked than not knowing at all.

Yeah, that's probably what I need to do.

Is this going to shock me?

I was all snuggled up in my bed literally 5 minutes ago ready to catch up on all the sleep I missed out on last night. I had even tweeted a goodnight tweet and set my phone on the headboard above. And as I was just about to drift off to dream land it hit me. I hadn't written a blog yet.

Sorry, I just thought I should inform you as to why this blog is up as "late" as it is. I pretty much spent about 27 hours with Peter and Natalie yesterday/ today. Natalie and I spent the night over at Peter's. But we pretty much stayed up until 3 or 4 a.m. this morning playing this game called 'Scratches". It was rather terrifying seeing as we were all really sleepy and the game was a "mystery" type game.

It's amazing how darkness and scary music can make your mind play tricks on you. There was a plethora of scream, jumping and holding one another as we pressed on through out the game. But seeing as we really needed to go to bed we crashed "early" and just picked up on the game later this evening.

I really like hanging out with Peter and Natalie. I feel like whenever Peter takes us some where we get educated. And I really like that, not only do I get to see different parts of my state in which I do not normally partake, but I also get cultured in different cuisines. Last night Peter took us out for real ramen, which I had before but Natalie hadn't. It's delicious regardless. haha.

But today we went out to eat with Peter's mama and some of her friends to a legit Chinese restaurant. It was really interesting to see the differences between what I had consider Chinese food and what actual Chinese food is like. I mean I ate a jellyfish! Well, not a whole jellyfish, but one of his tentacles. I was really afraid it was going to sting me (hush, it's a legit concern), but apparently they don't shock you once they've been cooked. Who knew? haha.

Today was pretty much my last real day of vacation. I cannot believe I start school Wednesday. I swear just last week I had 4 weeks left until school started. The time flew by really fast with all the events at the end of July/ beginning of August. However, I have to admit, this has been definitely one of my favorite summers. But I am excited to go back to school as well. JUNIOR! WHAT? WHAT! haha.

Well, i definitely have ALL of the tired now. I'm off to be.... ZzZzZzZz.... ;]

The rain is beautiful, silly

I was driving to my friend, Peter's apartment prior to writing this blog. And right as I got on the freeway it started raining. I found this bizarre because I mean it's summer. I live in southern California. It shouldn't be raining, right?

However, the weather has been acting rather bipolar recently, and not just in California. Flooding, rain storms, hurricanes, and even though I realize they aren't a type of weather, earthquakes in places they don't "belong".

I mean I love the rain just as much, no probably more, than the next person.

what I'm really trying to get at is that I love the rain. But the weather is acting up. And as much as I'd love for it to be pouring and raining and thunder. I feel fall should wait till it's for us to say goodbye to summer.

yeah, I feel like I just talked in circles and didn't really have a point. I just love rain.

I heart Sheldon Cooper

When I commit to things I should probably remember that I'm doing so. I just started watching Big Bang Theory and realized 3.5 minutes in that I haven't written my blog for the day yet.

Well, here I am half watching the Big Bang Theory and half writing this blog. It's hard to stop it because I've established a new love for it. The way Sheldon Cooper speaks just makes me smile so big. All of the characters on that show are just so entertain, I cannot help but laugh.

I've been spending a lot of time watching all the seasons of shows this summer. I have a problem with watching TV shows out of order. I feel like it ruins it, even if the show doesn't really follow a pattern. I haven't gotten through any whole series this summer, but I did catch up with Doctor Who.

This made me really excited seeing as the new season started up last Saturday and we have BBC America so I was able to watch it live! I watched last week's episode with my mother and this week I watched the newest with my brother and dad. They all seem to like it. Mom heard us watching it from upstairs tonight and texted me not to delete Doctor Who. This made my day.

Also, considering I'm in series four of Big Bang Theory, I cannot wait until the 5th series starts up this fall. I'm not a big fan of watching TV, more or less I tend to catch my shows on Hulu or other sites that allow you to watch shows you've missed later. I find myself rather busy during the school year, and it's reassuring to know that just because I position school before TV doesn't mean I have to miss out entirely.

5 hours isn't enough sleep?

I've been feeling really lazy today and I'm a tad upset about it. Laziness is exactly what I've been trying to avoid. I want to get back in the groove of doing things since fall semester starts next Wednesday. You know waking up at 6:30 a.m. and getting everything out of the way for my 10 a.m. class.

No, I'm not nuts, I'm just determined. I've been looking forward to starting my junior year of college. So many changes are going down this year and I have a lot more responsibility on my plate. I have no room for mistakes and I'm going to make sure that I get everything done before it needs to be done.

No more slacking, no more leaving things to the last minute and definitely no more procrastinating. I have to make sure I'm doing the best I can and worrying about little things later. I need to focus and keep my eye on the prizes. Which are continuing to fall deeper in love with my Savior and essentially graduate in two years.

I've made sure to aid in both goals. I'm currently working on reading the entire Bible in 90 days. I've unfortunately messed up quite a few times, but I'm scheduled to be completely finish in the beginning of October. Which is really exciting for me. I want to be able to understand more and grow through that to become the woman of God, God has created me to be.

In the sense of graduating on time, I'm not sure if that's possible seeing as they've yet to allow me to meet with an enrollment adviser, but I feel like I've been doing everything on track. I haven't really taken any classes that should interfere with that, I hope.

I need to make the habits I won't form, but I recently learned that it takes 21 to 28 days to form a habit. And at first I thought I had a leg up and was doing great. But then I went to bed late and couldn't get myself out of bed at 6:30 a.m. I'm just going to keep trying and hope for the best.

Please don't leave me . . .

Lately USA has been airing lots of Crime Dramas such as Law & Order: Special Victim Units/ Criminal Intent and NCIS. Not don't get me wrong, I LOVE watching Crime Dramas. I like to go along with the main characters and try to solve the case. Sometimes I am write and sometimes I am wrong, but in the end they are just Crime Dramas.

And I know that they're just Crime Dramas, but they also make paranoid. I get really paranoid when I am home alone and it gets worse in the evening. I make up so many explanations for the house settling, the dogs barking, the wind blowing and the dogs hitting their tails against the window. When I say explanations, I mean I play scenarios of people breaking in, robbing the place or killing me.

I'm sure this isn't healthy for my sanity. I don't want to be afraid of being home by myself. When my parents are home, especially my dad I feel safe. But this is a fear I need to get over. I mean, I'm two years away from being able to move out of my parent's house. And I don't know how that's going to go down. I could be living with a roommate(s) or by myself, and I don't want to put myself in a position where I don't feel comfortable in my own house.

I'm the type of person who doesn't like to be alone. I like to be surrounded by friends or family. But I need to become a person who is alright with being alone. I mean in some cases I am. These are the times when things need to get done and I do not have time to wait around for someone to come with me.

I also feel that I need to rely more on God in these situations. He is my father, my protector and I need to realize that He has the plan for my life. He has created me in His image. That should give me the comfort to know I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. He can give me the courage to be home alone, all I have to do is cast all my worries on Him and everything will be just fine. :]