You might like silence, I know I do. Noise distracts me and keeps me from focusing on the task that needs to be completed. Now this isn't entirely true, noise can also keep me occupied in other situations. Such as getting to know others or just having a nice conversation in between classes, so on and so forth.
But when I need to study, silence is great. I can deal with silence. Silence helps me reflect, recollect my thoughts, and concentrate. Which is good for me.
HOWEVER, I don't know about you, but even though I enjoy silence now and again, I pretty much hate it. Now I don't want to get all contradictory on myself here now, but silence is not my friend. Especially when it takes place between myself and others. To put it simply silence stresses me out.
I am a naturally shy person around people I don't know. My close friends don't recall this upon meeting me, but once they introduce me to their friends they soon realize it as the truth. I am one shy girl and I feel like that makes me socially awkward.
I mean I know how to communicate and carry my way through a conversation. I'm a Journalism and Media major for Pete's sake. I NEED to know how to communicate. However, when it's not related to Journalism or my job in any way and flip like a fish out of water.
Communication is difficult for me because I convey myself best through the written word. I mean can't you tell? My blog is entertaining! At least I hope it is . . . ha.
But returning to the stress of silence issue, I can't handle it. When there is an "awkward silence" if you will, my mind is driven crazy. What do I talk about? What do I say? What are they thinking? Am I too boring for them to talk to? Do they not like me? Is our conversation irrelevant to them? And the list of questions goes on and on.
However, as I'm writing this I am currently sitting through a silent conversation. I hear my fingers typing away at the keyboard and I can hear my good friend, Ev's clicks of his mouse on the other side of our silent Skype call.
I mention this because it's a remarkable thing. Ev and I discussed a photograph I posted on my tumblr a couple days ago. The photograph reads "True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable."
Now this is a curious case. Because it caused me to realize, I don't have a problem with silence between my close friends and I. Silence can be okay. Silence does not need to be filled with meaningful conversations when the two or more parties don't require it.
My best friend Natalie and I spend hours on Skype calls doing homework and even surfing the web in silence. Sometimes we don't even realize it. Numerous times I have gotten up from my desk without even notifying her of my absence and gotten a sandwich or blow dried my hair. And we don't think it's weird in the slightest, we are just so comfortable with one another that the silence doesn't bother us at all.
And because of this I can say that I enjoy having Ev on a silent Skype call as I type this blog and I don't feel the least bit awkward. And I can name quite a few others who I do the exact same thing with. These people are my good friends, and I wouldn't have a better silence with anyone else. :)
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